Mud Songs

20 Million Miles to Earth comes off as an attempt recreate 1933’s King Kong but with a half-lizard man from Venus. The stop-motion animation scenes of Mr. Lizard are fun, and some of the acting is so bad it’s hilarious, but there are too many boring filler scenes. The story never takes off. Not enough attention is given to the most interesting character: the lizard man. Watching a movie like 20 Million Miles to Earth, which was made in 1957, makes me appreciate the original King Kong even more.

I’m talking about the original 1933 version of King Kong. It is a great movie and a hell of lot more violent and gruesome than I ever thought. It must have shocked and scared the crap out of audiences in 1933. I never realized what an incredible movie it is. There isn’t much of a story until Kong comes into the picture — and then you can watch the movie with the sound down if you feel like it because everything unfolds in broad strokes: 1) Island natives capture Fay Wray for sacrifice to Kong; 2) Kong runs into the jungle with Ms. Wray, protecting her instead of eating her; 3) A rescue party runs into the jungle and are killed off one at a time by Kong; 4) Kong is captured and brought back to the US… and so on. Although King Kong is sometimes considered a B-quality monster movie, it’s operatic and poignant as well. I’d love to see it in a theatre someday.

WALL-E is proof that if Pixar wanted to, they could make an excellent adult science fiction film. They have conceptual artists who can create creatures and landscapes as impressive as anything put on film. They have writers and directors who know how to develop strong characters and a good story. They know what they’re doing. Everybody loves them. They can’t do wrong. They’ve found a winning formula making CGI family films, but I’d still love to see them take a crack on at some hard science fiction. Instead they give us WALL-E, a touching, entertaining and engaging story of a little robot left behind on a post-apocalyptic earth where everything is so polluted that humans can’t live there anymore. He eventually meets up with another robot who looks like an iPod and things take off from there. It’s a nice, harmless kids movie with an environmental message: don’t pollute.

The Triplets of Bellleville is full of crazy animation, definitely on the bizarre side, surreal, sad and poignant at times, grotesque, yet elegant and perhaps profound, and highly satirical. I just took a peek at Ebert’s review and I notice he tries to describe it like I just did: “It is creepy, eccentric, eerie, flaky, freaky, funky, grotesque, inscrutable, kinky, kooky, magical, oddball, spooky, uncanny, uncouth and unearthly. Especially uncouth. What I did was, I typed the word “weird” and when that wholly failed to evoke the feelings the film stirred in me, I turned to the thesaurus and it suggested the above substitutes — and none of them do the trick, either.” Read the linked reviews to get an idea of what we’re talking about.

I am Phillip with 2 Ls! Hark! Be warned! Hearing “I am Beowulf!” ten times in two hours gets old really fast! Computer-animated humans will never be as good as the real thing! When the people aren’t real, the drama isn’t real, not for a second! My time would have been better spent playing Donkey Kong! Arrgh! (Note: I didn’t see the 3-D Imax version of Beowulf.) If it’s meant to be a dramatic telling of Beowulf, it fails. If it’s meant to be tongue-in-cheek, then it might be a good laugh. I don’t know. I don’t plan to see it again either way.

I laughed all the way through this computer-animated family film. The rock ballad transitional scenes I could have done without, but the subtleties in characterizations are hilarious. Jeff Bridges reprises his role as the Dude but in penguin form. I like the moral of the story too. Surf’s Up may not have the same story quality that you’ll find in a Pixar production, but the animation is the most innovative I’ve seen for awhile.

I’ve watched maybe two episodes of The Simpsons in the past 3 years, and I don’t think I laughed once. I laughed out loud all throughout The Simpsons Movie though. The secondary characters don’t have much to do, but it’s fun. If you like the TV show, you’ll like the movie.

Skip Ratatouille and see Surf’s Up instead (which, although flawed, seems more innovative). I’ve officially reached the point where I can no longer get excited about a Pixar movie. I know everyone loves them and they make big bucks, but they continue to fall flat for me. They’re so perfect, there are no surprises.

Finding Nemo has fully-drawn characters (no pun intended), each of them perfectly voiced. Amazing renderings of underwater life and a script that doesn’t just give you a bunch of neat stuff to look at, but actually tells a worthwhile story. Great for kids and adults, even if you only watch a few scenes from it now and again.

Wallace and Gromit: The Wrong Trousers is the peak of Wallace and Gromit, more entertaining than the recent theatrical release. Funnier, creepier, moodier, ominous, and a good time all around. The penguin is pure evil.

Valiant is about carrier pigeons during WWII. It is the worst computer animated film I’ve seen to date. It is so dull, uninteresting, unfunny, I would have walked out of the theatre when I saw it if I was by myself. I could smoke a pound of weed and write a better script than Valiant. It may have worked as an animated short, but there’s not enough to hold out for a full-length feature. And not a thing to look at it. Computer animated movies for kids should be at least visually stimulating, give the kiddies something goosh about. But there is nothing to see here, folks. The most vibrant colour I saw was grey. Skip this movie. It’s a stinker.