Mud Songs

Jimmy Stewart plays a retired investigator in Vertigo who falls in love with a woman he’s been asked to spy on and then becomes obsessed with her. My problem is I just don’t believe anyone would act the way people do in this movie. Jimmy Stewart’s silly floating head during his dream sequence doesn’t help either, and Kim Novak looks like a clown in the second half of the movie. It’s worth a look to study Hitchchock’s direction, but most of the movie is tedious and melodramatic.

I saw Tarantula a week ago and can’t remember any of it now. Let me think… Right, a mad scientist creates a solution that makes all kinds of critters grow and grow and grow. One of the critters is a tarantula that walks slowly across the landscape and somehow manages to kill people who just stand and scream instead of run away. (I know, it both baffles and boggles the mind.) And… that’s about it. It’s pretty bad even for B-movie standards.

The Incredible Shrinking Man is an okay B-movie, notable only because of the special effects. A guy is enveloped by an ominous cloud while out on a pleasure cruise. Six month later he slowly begins to shrink. That’s it. There’s your movie. Eventually the guy has to live in a doll house. His cat attacks him. He escapes to the basement where, even smaller, he lives in a match box, washes under a dripping hot water tank, tries to steal food from a mouse trap, runs away from a spider — that kind of thing. It’s worth a look for the cutting-edge 1957 special effects, but it’s lacking in every other regard (even for a B-movie).

The entire movie can be viewed online at guba.com (I’ve never heard of it either).

The Creature from the Black Lagoon may be the best creature-feature B-movie I’ve seen since the original King Kong. Dramatically, it’s not in the same league as King Kong, but it’s a good action movie with enough thrills and surprises so it never gets boring. The DVD Talk synopsis (edited): “Starry-eyed scientist David Reed, adventurer-investor Mark Williams and curvaceous Kay penetrate the Black Lagoon to search for a full fossil to match the skeletal claw discovered by professor Carl Maia. But what greets them is an aquatic man-fish that takes an instant liking to the way Kay fills out a contoured swimsuit. The Gill Man decimates the supporting cast while the leads argue the best way to capture it; after he blocks their exit from the Lagoon, the wily Devonian goes a step further and claims Kay as a romantic spoil of war.” The underwater scenes (impressive even by today’s standards) are exciting and especially creepy when the The Gill Man follows the “curvaceous Kay” while she’s swimming. The creature may be a guy in a rubber suit, but it’s a pretty damn affective rubber suit.
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It Came From Outer Space is one of the few 1950s science fiction B-movies I’ve seen to-date that actually has a coherent story, one that is strong enough to maintain the momentum of the movie without having to spice it up with cheesy special effects every 5 minutes. And it’s always fun to play Spot The Star Trek Actor, or even better: Spot The Professor From Gilligan’s Island. That guy shows up all over the place in these old “sci-fi” classics. So anyhow, a spaceship crashes in the desert and the aliens need time to repair their ship. So they make copies of some guys who work for the power company and tell the one guy who knows where they’re hiding to not tell anyone. They promise to free all the original people they made copies of as soon as they’re done fixing their ship. That’s coherent, right? The aliens don’t show their true selves too much, but when they do, they look like the one-eyed alien blob from Space 1999. All said and done, It Came From Outer Space is a surprisingly half-decent and entertaining B-movie.

As a cheesy, “sci-fi” B-movie, This Island Earth doesn’t even approach the entertainment value of something like Forbidden Planet. (I have my doubts anything could beat Forbidden Planet. It’s impressive even outside the realm of B-movie appreciation.) There is a spaceship, an angry alien with a humongous brain and some humanoid people with big foreheads. All fine and good. The problem is boredom. The bad acting, the silly dialogue, the cardboard sets — you can only laugh your way through that for 10 or 15 minutes. Nothing cool happens until the last 20 minutes of the movie. That’s too much crap to sit through. Fast-forward to the 60-minute mark and you’ve got yourself a good time.

Cassandra’s Dream is Woody Allen trying to get back in form as a writer-director, but not quite making it. It’s the story of two brothers, Ewan McGregor and a mis-cast Colin Farrell (he sunk Terrence Malick’s The New World for me) who get tangled up in a criminal situation where people end up getting hurt. One brother struggles with his conscience; the other brother doesn’t. Certain scenes are well directed and affective, but there are too many elements of the movie that don’t work. Still, I admire Woody Allen for the attempt to present a story with both style and substance. I might like this one more if I get around to watching it again, but I’d rather just watch Crimes and Misdemeanors, which is pretty damn close to a masterpiece; same deal with Match Point. All three films deal with a similar subject manner, only the last two do it brilliantly.

Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds is a B-movie that’s no more sophisticated or frightening than The Blob. Birds start acting funny and attack people. The movie has a few good shots, but it’s boring and over-rated. If you bother to watch it (I don’t plan to see it again), let me know if you think the guy who plays Mitch, Rod Taylor, looks and sounds like Robin Williams’s father. I was convinced the two must be related. They’re not.

I’ve seen most of Hitchcock’s movies. I’ll eventually post about them as I re-watch them.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona is Woody Allen’s most satisfying movie since 2005’s Match Point. It’s an enjoyable and thoroughly entertaining story about two young women (Rebecca Hall and Scarlett Johansson) on vacation in Barcelona who become involved with a local painter (Javier Bardem). The painter also has a love-hate relationship with his ex-wife (Penélope Cruz) that creates a dynamic tension within all their relationships. Scarlett Johansson plays a Barbie doll again, which is passable for her role. Rebecca Hall, Penélope Cruz and Javier Bardem (the psycho killer from No Country For Old Men) give performances that are solid, right on the mark, energized but nuanced in a manner makes their characters seem like real people. Well-acted and well-written, Vicky Cristina Barcelona is neither an outright comedy or drama. Neither is it a masterpiece, but it’s fun.

I tried watching Woody Allen’s Scoop last night but only managed to get through the first 30 minutes. The script has (had) potential: A reporter dies, meets someone in the afterlife who gives him the scoop on a great story, and then he comes back down to earth as a spirit to give the scoop to another reporter. Unfortunately, the other reporter is Scarlett Johansson, who is a painfully non-comedic actor. Woody Allen’s comedic acting isn’t getting much better with age either. I heard recently that he’s decided to only make dramatic films for now on. Good. He should also avoid acting in his movies himself, give up on trying to write dialogue for young characters and stop casting actresses who look like Barbie dolls.

A big ominous ugly truck comes barrelling down the highway and makes life difficult for a lonely businessman in a car on his way to a meeting. Duel is like Jaws on wheels. Directed for TV by Steven Speilberg in 1971, this 90-minute theatrical cut is nothing but entertainment. There’s no moral to the story. It’s just one long chase scene that keeps you wondering, “How the hell is he going to get away from that truck?” Speilberg takes that simple concept and milks it to the hilt. Well done.

Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a fun movie if you don’t take it seriously. The first and third Indian Jones movies have stories that are fun and characters you can care about. The second movie doesn’t. This, the fourth in the series, has one interesting character (Indiana Jones), and a story that just barely pulls the action forward. But it does manage to make it over the finish line without thoroughly disappointing. There is some CGI, but it’s not distracting. There are no scary or super evil villains, but there is plenty of entertaining action. I had fun watching Harrison Ford play Indiana Jones one last time. Every other aspect of movie is forgettable.

Here’s the set-up to Small Time Crooks: Some small time crooks devise a plan to open a bakery next door to a bank and tunnel underground into the bank’s vault. But the bakery does such good business that they make more money from the bakery then they would have from robbing the bank. That’s the first 30 minutes of the movie and it’s funny as hell. These guys are completely incompetent criminals. The scene where they first try to dig the tunnel with a jack hammer in the basement of the bakery had me howling. After that the story drags and becomes too serious. Individual scenes work on their own, and Tracy Ullman gives an excellent performance as the baker (and Woody Allen’s wife), but the comedy loses its momentum long before the final credits.

Crimes and Misdemeanors is one of several Woody Allen films that’s pretty damn close to a masterpiece. From Roger Ebert’s original review: Crimes and Misdemeanors “is a thriller about the dark nights of the soul. It shockingly answers the question most of us have asked ourselves from time to time: Could I live with the knowledge that I had murdered someone? Could I still get through the day and be close to my family and warm to my friends, knowing that because of my own cruel selfishness, someone who had loved me was lying dead in the grave? This is one of the central questions of human existence, and society is based on the fact that most of us are not willing to see ourselves as murderers. But in the world of this film, conventional piety is overturned and we see into the soul of a human monster… Actually, he seems like a pretty nice guy.”

Close Encounters of the Third Kind is one of the best science fiction films ever made, and worth revisiting if you haven’t seen it for a long time. Steven Speilberg’s directorial style quickly became what you might call obvious later in his career, but in this early film he allows plenty of room for interpretation. He shows us but doesn’t tell us anything. The final encounter with the aliens is spectacular and mysterious (communicating through music is pretty darn cool). Too bad they don’t make movies like this anymore.

Woody Allen cannot write for younger characters. His words sound wrong coming out of this guy’s mouth. I had to give up on Anything Else after the first 30 minutes.

Death Proof (Extended and Unrated) is Quentin Tarantino’s tribute to Grindhouse films and is better than the theatrical cut, though it’s difficult to qualify “better” in a movie that doesn’t strive too hard to be good in the first place (there are some unpleasant though quick gore shots). Tarantino doesn’t bring anything new to the table (the dialogue and direction are derivative of himself) — except for the car chase scene at the end which is fun and funny.

I’ve seen all of Taratino’s movies. I’ll eventually post about them as I re-watch them.

Everyone Says I Love You is a musical by Woody Allen, and ya know, it ain’t that bad. People breaking out into song usually doesn’t work for me, but the acting is good, the story is entertaining and the songs are fun. It’s well done. I enjoyed it.

A departure from his NYC intellectual scene, Broadway Danny Rose may not be the best 4-star Woody Allen movie, but it’s funny without being stupid, something that can’t be said about most comedies made today. The more Woody Allen I watch, the more I appreciate him as a writer and director. He is one of the best.

Grindhouse, a double feature of exploitation B-movies — one a zombie movie, the other a car chase/revenge flick — does not elevate either genre to the level of great cinema (as some might argue is the case with Kill Bill). A mild thumbs up for me.