Mud Songs

1h 09m. Peter Jackon’s version of King Kong begins at that point in the DVD, which marks the first appearance of Kong. You can start the movie there and not miss anything important, because just like the original 1933 version, the loneliness of this scary, fierce, misunderstood giant gorilla is the drama of story. The humans are window dressing next to the pathos that pour out of that big ape. If Jackson had cut at least an hour of the running time, kept his focus on Kong, and waited about 10 years to the point where CGI technology could do justice to his vision of Kong, he would have made a great movie. Still, it’s not hard to overlook these flaws during the Kong scenes, which are pretty damn spectacular. (I didn’t see the extended edition.)

I’m talking about the original 1933 version of King Kong. It is a great movie and a hell of lot more violent and gruesome than I ever thought. It must have shocked and scared the crap out of audiences in 1933. I never realized what an incredible movie it is. There isn’t much of a story until Kong comes into the picture — and then you can watch the movie with the sound down if you feel like it because everything unfolds in broad strokes: 1) Island natives capture Fay Wray for sacrifice to Kong; 2) Kong runs into the jungle with Ms. Wray, protecting her instead of eating her; 3) A rescue party runs into the jungle and are killed off one at a time by Kong; 4) Kong is captured and brought back to the US… and so on. Although King Kong is sometimes considered a B-quality monster movie, it’s operatic and poignant as well. I’d love to see it in a theatre someday.

Hellboy II has Ron Pearlman wasting his talent in a lifeless pay-cheque comic book movie.

Skip it. The first Narnia movie is excellent, one of the best family-friendly movies of 2005. The best thing I can say about The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian is they’ve improved on the special effects. Not much happens for the first hour (which will bore most kids), and when the action does pick up, it’s just eye candy. Too much emphasis on meaningless battles sequences and not enough on character and story.

The Forbidden Kingdom is a forgettable martial arts film with Jet Li and Jackie Chan. It’s not unwatchable but it ain’t worth watching.

The Spiderwick Chronicles is a fantasy film in line with the first Chronicles of Narnia flick and Bridge to Terabithia, but a bit scarier and probably not suitable for children under 10. The kids in this one spend most of their time running from and fighting against goblins and other forest creatures. There’s not much to the story, but it’s adventurous and fun.

I am Phillip with 2 Ls! Hark! Be warned! Hearing “I am Beowulf!” ten times in two hours gets old really fast! Computer-animated humans will never be as good as the real thing! When the people aren’t real, the drama isn’t real, not for a second! My time would have been better spent playing Donkey Kong! Arrgh! (Note: I didn’t see the 3-D Imax version of Beowulf.) If it’s meant to be a dramatic telling of Beowulf, it fails. If it’s meant to be tongue-in-cheek, then it might be a good laugh. I don’t know. I don’t plan to see it again either way.

The Hidden Fortress is a light-hearted adventure comedy about two losers trying to take the money and run, more or less. Add to it a warrior and a princess, some exciting chase scenes and a couple of fights — under the direction Akira Kurosawa, just about every frame of it is a work of art.

Stardust is a predictable fairy tale that will take you for a fun ride if you’re willing to just go along with it. All the actors have a good time with this one, and it’s infectious. It’s got adventure, comedy, romance, thrilling action and enough interesting twists so it never gets boring. A good night at the movies.

I did something today I normally don’t do. I saw a movie without knowing anything about it. And it sucked. The Last Legion is not adult entertainment. 13-year-olds who don’t know what a clichéd fantasy film looks like might enjoy it. Parents might like it too because no blood or actual killings are shown.

Indiscriminate Harry Potter fans will probably like Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix . It was another soulless, unengaging snoozefest for me.

A Peter Pan message about the power of imagination, Bridge to Terabithia is geared more towards kids than adults. However, the story eventually diverges enough from the normal sugar-coated Walt Disney production that I can recommend it for adults too.

Pan’s Labyrith is a fairy tale for adults. It’s a good movie. I enjoyed it. For whatever reason, though, it didn’t grab me. I like the look and feel of it, but I wasn’t scared or on the edge of my seat for any of it, or even too engaged by it. So even though I like everything about it, I wasn’t affected by it. So…? (A unique film though.)

I like M. Night Shyamalan, but I agree with Rotten Tomatoes: “A far-fetched story with little suspense and unconvincing scenarios, Lady In The Water feels contrived, pretentious, and rather silly.” It’s not a really bad movie; it’s just not a good one.

House of Flying Daggers may not be as good as Hero, but it sure looks and feels like an epic martial arts film. Surreal at times, and beautifully shot. I can watch this with the sound down and still get into it.